vagina-thumper:

closedcabinets:

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.

It was chinese mothers day on sunday and my company made a video to be shown on TV in shanghai. I am in it. Below is the link to the video on the chinese version of youtube.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzk0ODA1MTk2.html

There is a cut in my part of the video just after I say something because the person behind the camera couldn’t stop laughing.

Things with my new family didn’t go so well, so now I am changing families again. I have moved out of the family and now I am living with a guy from the agency. He lives in a hutong which is a small chinese alleyway very old. Its really cool and it is real China. It is so interesting living here, living with average chinese people and not lifted up in the world of rich chinese families. His house is just one room and a kitchen/bathroom. I think I would much rather live here and experience china this way than go back to a rich family. I know for sure my chinese will improve a lot if I live here. 

My room mate is a local Beijing person and so are all his friends, he grew up in the hutongs here and knows a lot about the area. Beijing people are known to speak chinese very fast and its definitely true, spending some time with him and his friends felt like they weren’t even speaking chinese it was so fast. It’s a great challenge, coming to china to learn chinese was already like jumping into the deep end of a swimming pool, but now I think this part is even deeper. 

Today I got to go to a chinese wedding and not just the meal/get together. This morning I woke up at 6:30 am to get ready and go to my friend Alice’s house (she is the one getting married). I got to see almost the entire day. I have lots of pictures and there are lots of interesting customs that I will attempt to explain now, but once again the pictures will still have to wait. 

So I think to start in the morning the brides friends will be at her house and the grooms friends will be at his house. After that the groom and his friends have to come to the brides house to take her. Today they drove 7 cars across Beijing to a place called Xianshan where Alice lives. Once there the brides family light fireworks to try and scare away the groom and also partly to scare away bad spirits.

After that the groom and his friends come to the front door of the brides house and try to come in. The brides friends and family don’t let them in without giving several red envelopes (the envelopes contain money) and in the case of this wedding drinking some Mongolian wine. The friends and family always refuse to accept the money and say it is not enough, but eventually let them in. Once inside the house they still have to get into the brides room, which once again involves the giving of red envelopes and drinking more wine. At this wedding the groom also had to sing a love song to his wife through the door. The last challenge before the groom can leave with the bride to where the wedding will take place is he has to find her shoes. The friends of the bride have hidden one shoe and the bride is wearing the other. To find out the location of the shoe the groom once again has to give more red envelopes. 

At this point of the groom is finally able to take his new wife to be married. This tradition is mainly seen as a bit of a game and was very funny to watch. The best man was very nice at this wedding and drank a lot of the grooms wine to let him in, so at this point the best man was quite drunk, fortunately at chinese weddings the best man is not required to give a speech only the new couple and parents. 

After the groom has finally been allowed to take his bride (he must carry her to the car), the people present in the morning with the family and friends go to the hotel or restaurant where the ceremony and meal will take place. They drive the cars to the ceremony together, all of the cars were black except for one which was white, sometimes the cars can also be red. I believe the white car is there to signify the 白马王子, literally translated is white horse prince, but in essence it means Prince Charming. After this point details may be less descriptive as the main announcer was speaking chinese too fast for me to understand. 

At the restaurant ceremony the couple were greeted by a crowd of friends and family throwing rose petals, then everyone moved inside for a speech the ceremony and a meal. The most interesting thing to note at the entrance of the restaurant is that no one has given gifts, people have only given red envelopes containing money, fortunately I came prepared with an envelope. There is also a tradition with these envelopes in that the amount inside them has to be a good number. The worst number to give is 4 as it sound is very similar to the word death/to die in chinese. Another bad combination is 1 and 4 because 1 also sounds similar to want, so the number 14 can sound like want to die, obviously a terrible gift to give on a wedding day. The correct custom to follow is to give enough to show that you care and make sure it is a good number, if you know the couple well and they know you dont have much money to give it is no problem, it is mainly the thought that counts. The number I chose was 108RMB as 100 is not an especially good number, but 8 is the best number in China, so 108 is a good number. 

Finally we get on to the main part of the ceremony. Once everyone has sat down, a video was shown of the couple showing pictures of them separately when they were children and then together when they grew up, it ended with the date 2012/05/12 and a message about them coming together. After this the screen rolled up to reveal a man ready to present the wedding. He introduced the couple and they then walked along the middle of all the tables and stood on the stage. This is where details are hard to describe as no one was able to translate for me. 

The first thing to happen on stage was the exchange of rings. The best man brings the rings to the couple, much like a western wedding, then the groom shows the ring to the family and then kneels down to place it on the finger of his new wife. The bride then shows her ring and places it on the finger of her new husband ( not needing to kneel down this time). After this there was some more talking which I think was like the chinese exchanging of vows, they asked if they were both willing to be married and be together which they both replied to as being willing. 

Then a person comes on stage to read some details from the couples passport. The person at this wedding was the mother of my previous host family and I think the boss/owner of the kindergarten. This may be a sign of respect to the people that helped the bride be able to host the wedding or it may be because they need a more official person from outside the family to read this part. After this the bride and groom steal their passports from over the person head only to give them back to the main presenter and then receive them as a gift back. A little bit confusing as I couldn’t understand what they were saying.

After this the new couple agree to stop calling each other parents uncle and aunty and instead to call them mum and dad. They give their new parents tea and the parents in return give a big red envelope to their new son/daughter. Then they lit candles in the shape of a heart and poured champagne down over a pyramid of glasses, I am not sure of the relevance of this in a cultural context, but it was obvious to show that they are now together and they will help each other do things. When lighting the candles they used a long sword and the couples mothers initially light the sword, with the grooms mother using a match and the brides mother holding the sword. They then both present it to the couple together.

Now the new couple bow to left then to the right and then to the centre to show respect for everyone coming. Then they come together for a hug, but must step away. They then bow and bring their heads together and then repeat this again but kissing on the cheek and then on the mouth. After this everyone is invited on stage to take pictures with the couple. Once this is over the couple then go round to all the tables and give everyone some wedding candy and cigarettes/alcohol. They drink together with every table (not alcohol for the couple as every table would probably not be a good idea) but once again I believe this is to respect the people that have come and to wish everyone else good luck and prosperity.

The order of the tables is a little bit specific, they started with the table that had both families parents on and my old host family (the brides boss), this is the most important table. They then went along the family tables in an order I did not know as I don’t know how each table was related, but after that they steadily get to the friends of the couple. They serve the friends in the oposite way to their family starting with the least known and then finally arriving at the table of the friends who came to the bride and grooms house in the morning, who I presume are the closest friends to the couple. I was incredibly privileged to be sat on the last table with their closest friends, all of whom are incredibly friendly and funny. 

After everyone has left and gone home the evening of the wedding the new couple will invite their friends who helped them with everything to come to dinner and to enjoy themselves. Unfortunately I was unable to go this part as I have to do something completely pointless with my new horrible family, but I am sure it is lots of fun and that the friends of the couple probably have a few funny things planned and people will drink and have fun. 

Overall it would have been one of my best days in China if I didn’t have to come back home, but still it was an amazing event to witness and I am incredibly happy for the new couple. They are both such wonderful people and have been so nice to me since I have arrived in China. I wish them all the best together and hopefully one day I will be able to repay all the goodness they have given to me. All though they wont be reading this I still feel the need to say a huge Thank You!

My last note on this incredibly long post is to advise anyone still reading what I post to maybe start saving some money to come to China for a wedding. I haven’t found a wife or a girlfriend yet, but it is looking increasingly likely that I will want to stay here to continue my life. So I will probably end up with a chinese wife, unless by some crazy coincidence I end up meeting the best british woman ever.  Just thought I should give you some advanced warning. 

I have no moved house and changed family. My new family live in Haidian District near a place called 香山 XiangShan, the mountain that I probably said I hated in one of my previous posts. Luckily though I won’t have to climb it again. We are also very close to the Summer Palace and only about 20 minutes away from where my chinese classes are. 

The family have two children Maitou and Jerry, they are 5 and 3 years old respectively. Not as well behaved as Chris and not quite as good at speaking english, but at least I am not in a kindergarten all day. The house they have is really nice, has 4 floors including a basement, which isn’t really a basement, more like an underground living room.

One of the best things is that they have a huge dog called Karl, I think he is a German Shephard, but is all brown on his back. He is very handsome and hopefully I can take some pictures of him. 

For now Vietnam is still going to be delayed, it is a 3 day holiday here at the moment from 29th-1st so I am out going to parks and stuff with the family, but once it is over and the kids go to kindergarten during the day I can start uploading pictures and writing about the journey. I kept notes in my mp3 played of every day so there will be about 16 days to write about I think. I also have some more pictures of the art district 798 which I went to with a friend a few weeks ago. In fact I probably have lots of other pictures to upload, so continue being the patient people that you all are and wait to see what has been going on. 

So… I have updated my pictures to the point of Vietnam, but in my process of choosing pictures I want to upload I managed to come down from 800+ to only 140+. That might still be too many to upload, I am going to have to do some more arranging and looking through, so no Vietnam pictures tonight. Sorry

I am changing family, not because I don’t like the family that I am with, but because I am not enjoying working in the kindergarten any more and want to be closer to Beijing centre not almost an hour away. I have found a new family they are alos really nice. 

In other news I finally had som time today to go through my pictures from Vietnam, but resizing them all for here is taking quite a while and uploading them will take even longer so it will still be a little while before you see them. In my new family I will have more free time so I should be able to do a little bit every day. Pictures are coming soon I promise. 

Don’t forget you can talk to me on skype or email me or ask me a question on here.